Needs . . .

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY REAL CHEESE????!!!??!?!! I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS HERE! Really, if you do have any cheese to spare, perhaps a munster, or something with a hint of horse raddish in it, if you would be so kind as to send it to me. I'm not crazy. Not yet any way.

Finally, I Can Get No Dirtier!

Yes, yes, yes. I am well, and this will no doubt be one of the shortest blogs I write, so pepani. Pepani Kwambiri.

Just a couple of updates. First, I am well, as I've already said. Its cold here. But that's ok. Second, I pooped on myself for the first time. It was actually a wipe that caused the ruccuss, but the outcome was the same. And I did not change the pants (I'm actually still wearing them, I know, seriously Kris) afterwards.

Be proud. Poop has no power over this man. And I'm going to buy rabbits next month to use their poop for my plants! Yippie!!!! You know, sometimes everything comes up Ludvigson, even if you do start your day by crapping on your leg.

Peace,

Mr. Staff Infection

3 Weeks In and Only 3 Showers to Speak OF

Good Day People,

I'm attempting to keep my promise of monthly updates. So here it is. One month in a row. Congratulations to me, and to you for being lucky enough to have something new to read.

It's more than good to be home. My trees are all growing well, Charlie (our dog) has gotten awkwardly big--and by big I mean his body is super fat and his head is tiny--, school is still fun, and the weather here is wonderful.

Of course, I have gotten back on a strict schedule of showering only two times a week, and I finally feel like myself again. That shower every day thing in the states is overrated. And I'm better with a "thin" film of grime on me anyways.

Term 2 of our school year is done in a couple of weeks, and then the highly anticipated Term three begins soon after, ending in approximately August. So I'm busy, and I guess that's ok.

I'm boring myself today, so I think this will be it for now. Think about visiting if you can/want; we'll drink some mango wine (or whatever fruit is available at the time you come). And I'll leave you with a little gem I call love. Enjoy. Its at the top because thats how I could load it.

The REbirth of Kool

Yes, yes, I know. I've done a sub-par job of updating my blog regularly since the holidays. For this I appologize, but please understand that the reasons are based solely on the fact that I am Ulesi (google this and you'll understand--it's Chichewa).

So, what's new? Lots. Our first three months at site (our home) went well, but were also extremely frustrating. We're getting used to this. Jen and I are getting much better at whispering the phrase "Pong'ono Pong'ono" (little by little) to each other and ourselves when things don't work as they probably should (everyday). We are realizing that things can and may get finished, but not in the time frame we plan.

I am actually writing from the U.S. today, and I apologize for not notifying everyone, and trying to meet with you all, but we just didn't have time. Jen and I returned briefly because of a serious family friend issue, and our schedule revolved around this. So if I didn't get to see you, again, I'm sorry, and I promise that I will work to fit you all in when our service ends (which by the way, will most likely not be until July of 2010 because we have decided to extend our service).

Besides this, I (and Jen) are doing fantastic (and as you can tell from the above pic, that I still have my amazing looks--I'm not bragging, it's just a statement of truth). We will be contacting many of you (some we already have) about the possibility of travel to Malawi, as well as fundraising opportunities. Yea, yea, I know, always wanting something. But if you don't donate, how will I ever complete my fully fortified castle (yes, there is a planned moat and drawbridge)?

Ok, enough for now. I kind of promise to get back to semi-regular postings, lets say once a month? Cross your fingers. Take care of yourselves, and drop me a line either here or via email if you get bored.

Peace.

The 4th Dirtiest man I know

Merry Krismas

Merry Christmas Mofos,

Hopefully your holiday season is going well & the appropriate mythical being has/will bring you everything you have asked for -- I got an ox cart full of poop. Yea!!!! May the cold Wisconsin weather & snow only increase your desire to warm yourself with a well-aged brandy and to sit by the fire (yes, apparently I am rhyming today).

As for me, I am well. The weather here in Malawi is hot as hell (of course I can only speculate as to how hot Hell actually is, but the weather here has to be close), and the rainy season has arrived with the fury of a Dennis Leary tirade. Its rains almost every day, and because of this, Malawi has turned a type of green that I have never before seen (yes, I'm a Dr. Seuss fan).

Despite its beauty, there is still plenty of work to be done here. We have been placed at a wonderfully built school that was donated by the Clinton Foundation and the African Development fund. However, my class sizes range from 60-120 students, class periods are loosely observed so far, and many other frustrations fill my day as well. Patience is definitely a virtue I am gaining loads of. One really great thing though, is that my students are awesome.

What else? Jen and I are slowly getting used to living (cooking, cleaning, crapping, gardening, shopping, etc.) on our own in Malawi. As well, our Chichewa is improving just as slow. My hope is that by September of next year, things will be pretty damn good for us here.

We are attempting to grow trees and a garden, and I have even been using our urine to fertilize these! Yeah for urine! By the way, since we have no TV, and the appearance of strange bugs is rarely consistent, growing stuff has become my entertainment. Its better than FOX--damn you Jack Bauer!!!!

Otherwise, things here are well, although it is really difficult to go sledding without snow here, and people look at me like I'm crazy. Whatever, what do they know about sledding anyway?

Ok, enjoy the holidays, don't wake up with anyone or anywhere you don't want to, and if you do, for the love of God please have an emergency escape plan handy. Be sure to pick out a resolution you might actually fulfill (And no Mikey, saying that you will act like an adult and that you will quit rapping E = MC Magina does not fall into this category--seriously though, don't ever stop rapping that).

And finally, I have decided to develop an eating disorder--no matter how much/what I eat, I still cannot gain weight. Maybe I have a tapeworm. Seriously though, eating disorders are no laughing matter; unless of course, the content is funny. Hmmm.

Now I'm just rambling. Merry whatever you like, and Happy New Year. Peace.

Yours Truly,

The Great White Hype

Good Morning/Afternoon/Whatever People,

I know it has been quite a while since my last installment, and I apologize for this. I hope everyone is great, and if you're not, well, there really isn't anything I can do about it anyway. So tough sh#%t.

I currently have about 3 weeks left in training (I swear in on Dec. 9th), and Jen and I then move to Nambuma, which is about an hour northwest of the capital city Lilongwe. We just finished our site visit today, and are extremely excited about the possibilities that our community holds.

As for me, I am getting extremely hairy, both in the face, and the length of my hair on my head. I would most likely be referred to as a dirty ass hippie back home. Along with this, I am happy to say that I am on a tri-weekly bathing schedule, and it is in the form of bucket baths. So awesome is the word of the day.

Not much else to report besides the fact that Malawi is home, and I'm happy as hell about it. I miss most of you, and look forward to seeing as many of you here as possible. Seriously. In about three weeks, I should have internet access about 1-3 times per month, so if you send it, I will respond . . . eventually.

Otherwise, take care, and remember that it is much warmer where I am than were you are. Although I do have a greater chance of contracting malaria. Hmm.

Peace

A-Thank You, & A How's You're Mother

Good Day,

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone involved in this past weekend's festivities (& and I do mean everyone). We would not have pulled our Wedding thing off without all of your assistance (wait, does that sound weird?). I will not name names, but if you did anything, both Jen and I say a sincere thank you.

So now that this weekend is a memory, I look forward to our departure to Malawi in two weeks. Jen and I head out to Philadelphia in the wee hours of Friday September 25, where we will participate in our Peace Corps. Staging event (which will last approximately 12 hours), and then fly to Malawi in the wee hours of the 26th.

As with my Rwanda excursion, I will update my blog as often as I can, and will obviously do so for a much longer period of time while in Malawi (2 1/2 years people) Take care of yourselves. All of you.

Peace.